July 27, 2011
July 17, 2011
July 03, 2011
Guy cannot believe nobody commented on his clever Facebook status update
By John Doney / Owl's Ghetto Times
Los Angeles, California - A 20-something year-old Burbank man was found storming around the living room of his apartment by his long time girlfriend on Friday afternoon. Jeremy Hernandez, a part time graphic designer and real estate agent, became frustrated when he came home after work and logged onto Facebook, only to discover that nobody had commented on his most recent status update. Hernandez’s girlfriend, Morgan Jones, described Hernandez as being inconsolable and in near-hysterics.
Jones had just come home from her job as a receptionist at a dentist’s office to discover an irate Hernandez marching around the living room of their shared apartment, muttering obscenities, and at one point even shaking his hands over his head
According to Jones, the only complete sentence uttered by Hernandez during his tirade was “I can’t fucking believe nobody commented on my status update.”
“I can’t fucking believe nobody commented on my status update, let alone ‘liked’ it. Not a single one of my 847 friends. I usually never come up with anything good, but this time I came up with something totally clever and original, and no one said a God damned thing. Unbelievable,” said Hernandez about the situation.
The status update posted by Hernandez at 7:40 AM on Friday read:
“This girl I saw working on her laptop at Starbucks looked as lonely as the swear jar at Donnie Osmond’s house.”
June 28, 2011
Asteroid Misses Earth- Comes Closer Than Moon
NASA dismissed this Asteroid (2011 MD), but all of us are wondering the obvious horrific implications of this event. Namely, "will it fuck with my iphone?" Here's some videos they deal with the situation, but not with the cellphone danger...which still remains to be seen. Come on NASA, let us know the truth ! Should I cancel my landline service? Stupid Apocalypse.
June 23, 2011
June 12, 2011
June 10, 2011
June 06, 2011
May 29, 2011
May 22, 2011
Shady drug dealer cant wait to get his hands on black lacquer coffee table
Shady drug dealer cant wait to get his hands on black lacquer coffee table
by John Doney / Owl's Ghetto Times
Brooklyn, New York - A shady drug dealer from Bed Stuy, Brooklyn really wants a black lacquer coffee table with a glass top listed for sale on eBay. Robert “Bugsy” Carlton, a well-known cocaine and marijuana distributor in the colorful Brooklyn neighborhood, was browsing eBay for coffee tables when he came across the lacquer centerpiece being auctioned off by a private seller from New Jersey. The 34 year-old Brooklyn native and twice former Riker’s Island inmate was in the market for a new coffee table to “pimp out the pad” and impress his clientele, and said he could not be happier since he found the one listed on eBay.
“I broke the coffee table I bought from my boy Lil’ Tino after I lost against the Celtics on NBA 2K11. I stomped it like a sewer rat,” said Carlton, pointing to a slightly cleaner spot on his zebra print area rug where the table had been. “Now I can’t wait to see the look on these cluckers’ faces when they show up to buy shit like every other day, but they walk in and see my fly ass coffee table.”
.
“Bugsy” Carlton was focused on customizing his all-star team on NBA 2K11 for the XBox 360, his eyes carefully following the jersey color chart on the left side of the wall-mounted plasma television that was nearly the size of a twin mattress. However, like the contemplative Tony Montana in the “Scarface” poster hanging above his overstuffed black leather couch, Bugsy definitely had something else on his mind - the black lacquer coffee table.
Bugsy said the starting bid was $0.99, but the current price was $27.50 after he had placed his bid on the item earlier in the day. There were at least six bidders before him who managed to bring the price to just under $20, but a determined Bugsy was unwilling to be outbid on the one of a kind black lacquer coffee table with chrome feet and separate glass top.
When asked how much he was willing to pay for the piece, Bugsy replied, “Priceless, priceless.”
Bugsy plans to invite friends and clientele to his apartment for a small get-together if and when he gets the coffee table, and wants to “break it in with a zip of yayo.”
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May 20, 2011
May 19, 2011
May 15, 2011
May 08, 2011
May 01, 2011
Let's Recycle Movies And Get On With This Green Thing: Sustainable Hollywood
Let's Recycle Movies And Get On With This Green Thing: Sustainable Hollywood
Elle Enziguri - The Owl's Ghetto Times
Welcome to the age of the remake. Since Hollywood has always been a green industry, this is no surprise. Scripts have been recycled for years, and now it's becoming clear that we're headed toward a time when there will be no more new ideas being manufactured in entertainment. Yes, things will get worse before they get better. Not to worry though, The Owl's Ghetto Times has a solution to the creative problems in Hollywood. Interchanging storylines between live action movies and their cartoon counterparts can keep the flow relatively fresh. Check out these ideas.
Live Action to Cartoon
Dances With Wolves. Fern Gully. Rip off. If the standard set by Avatar proves solid, then this possibility of recycled scripts becomes inevitable. Taking an animated approach is a brilliantly lazy and less costly idea. Expensive 3D technology aside, cartoons are usually much cheaper than brick and mortar live movies. Celebrities are always down for a voiceover role. Easy paychecks, and much less work than a serious film.
Naturally, cartoons are light and often humorous. For instance, a housecat in California discovers a saber-toothed tiger encased in ice while taking a shit in the local skate park. A ragtag group of neighborhood strays teaches the confused sabertooth the art of being cool. Sound familiar? No one has to know that it’s the recycled script from Encino Man. Pauly Shore is certainly available, and will work cheaply as an animated weasel. Still funny after all these years. But the world of animation isn't restricted to comedy. Sometimes animated features can serve a heavy dose of drama. Very heavy. An American Tale did it. The plight of immigration served up in tear-jerking musical numbers. Unbeatable. Cartoons can have a more significant impact than actual actors. The sufferings of adorable animals are specially designed to singe heartstrings. Imagine a full length film rendition of MASH with a cast of sea monkeys. War from the perspective of brine shrimp is sadder than sad. The Brown Bunny would be just as effective using animated bunnies. Or remake an animated version of Raising Arizona using plucky rabbits for an upper/downer combo. Everybody gets a piece of the remake pie.
Or hell, just animate Jaws as it is and get Frank Miller involved.
Cartoon to Live Action
Remaking The Jetsons into a live-action piece would be an expensive waste of time. Instead, remake The Muppet Babies using upscale mascot costumes and very little CGI. Computer generated malarkey can sink a film. Think of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Nothing says horseshit like watching Jason Lee argue with digital chipmunks. No, The Muppet Babies film needs to remain strictly live set and costume-based. If the endeavor doesn’t immediately gain favor with the mainstream movie makers, the next avenue is to take an independent angle. Making an independent movie is easy. Add some radical monologues and indie producers will love the fact that Vincent Gallo has been signed to play a gender-bending Skeeter. Bingo: movie made. Who cares that Gallo thinks he's participating in a 'serious film.'? To that guy, the script to a KFC commercial has the potential for independent gold. Let's make as many movies as possible this way.
Or for the mainstream audience:
Hey America, are you interested in a Danny McBride “Captain Caveman” chucklefest? Of course you are. Kenny Powers is so hot right now.
Live action films for cartoon classics need to get progressively zanier in order to advance film into whatever lies in the future of art. Eventually, even Martin Scorcese will be fighting for a chance to make a gritty Popples movie. It will be the strangest age in cinema history. John Waters movies will actually seem drab. Laugh now, but the time will come. Remember how fucking weird the Super Mario Brothers movie was? Yes, let's do that again, except using Oliver Stone as the director and Ian McShane as the villain. Convince Woody Allen that a live-action Inspector Gadget needs a neurotic reworking. Matthew Broderick destroys movies and everyone knows that Christopher Lloyd is the only man for the job.
Go-Go-Gadget Badass.
So who needs new ideas for films when we've spent the last hundred years already collecting a decent idea bank? Let's just capitalize on stories that have already proven themselves successful. James Cameron isn't the only one who can lazily make millions off someone else's intellectual property. We should embrace the hucksters and marks that we know we all are. Ya know, it's postmodern after all.
April 24, 2011
April 17, 2011
April 12, 2011
April 10, 2011
April 02, 2011
Armageddon Throwdown: A Pre-Apocalyptic Guide To The End Times
Elle Enziguri/ Owl's Ghetto Times
It’s that time again. The End of Days is here. Since Y2k, we’ve needed a decent refresher on the things that are supposed to kill us all in the near future. Everyone needs an opportunity to decide whether they repent or find new reasons to party like it’s 1999. The Owl’s Ghetto Times has been diligent in it’s search for clues as to when the world will put the kibosh on all our fun. A belief structure in one or more of these scenarios will facilitate anyone’s journey through the upcoming Doom.
The War of the Worlds - Aliens Destroy The World!!!
Alien invasion. In this day, it’s widely believed that extraterrestrials do exist. Denying the possibility of other life in the universe is considered dumb and unrealistic. The real point of contention is whether aliens have made contact with Earth. So when the Mayans met up with those aliens back in the day, they discovered not only the truth about extraterrestrials but also some dope new technology. When the aliens departed, they took back their awesome spaceships and lasers. But before shooting off into outer space, they dropped some serious knowledge on the Mayans to expedite human progress. This gift was in return for the Mayan gifts of chocolate and chili peppers. They told the Mayans that when they ran out of chocolate and peppers in space, they’d return to Earth and destroy it after sucking up it’s mocha-chili resource. Since the Mayans were told when the aliens would come back, they outfitted their calendars to end when shit is scheduled to hit the fan. Knowing about the end of the world fucked with the Mayans’ heads. That’s when they went all hardcore and died out from partying too damn much. The good news for them is that they don’t have to experience the rape and pillage of the Earth next December. But from this seat, it looks like the show is going to be pretty awesome.
(The Demand For Chocolate and Peppers is Too Great.)
The Rapture. God Destroys The World!!!
Actual Christian End Times Belief: So at some point here pretty soon, Jesus is going to come back and gather his flock to rise up to heaven before the doom of the apocalypse begins. Apparently it will be just like that Growing Pains movie where all the Christians in the world just disappeared simultaneously. This event makes for a pretty nasty result. Cars travel down the interstate suddenly with no drivers. Planes fall out of the sky without crunk pilots to steer them home. Hair salons pretty much stay the same. And Lady Gaga concerts. Nothing really changes for the gays. The Westboro Baptist Church finds itself pretty bummed that they didn’t make the rapture cut and is left with nothing but sinners and those damn gays. Then there’s a huge dance party, and the world splits in two. We will all join a parade down to Hell. Like Carnival. Sounds kinda bodacious for those Left Behind.
(Growing Pains Has Finger On Pulse of End Times. Who Knew?!!?!)
The Armageddon Movie. Asteroids Destroy The World!!!
Bruce Willis isn’t really an oil derrick roughneck. And even if he was, it’s folly to believe that he can blow it up before it destroys the planet. If a huge foreign space body is hurtling towards the Earth, consider us royally fucked with no hope of thwarting it’s assault. It will be like the Great Reckoning of the Dinosaurs. A bunch of shit will be on fire, poisonous gas will fill the sky, and we’ll be gassed or burned to death. Too bad we didn’t have cool names like “Thunder Lizard” or “T. Rex”. We will perish as a huge mass of Dwaynes and Bills, hopefully leaving some sweet artifacts for those Mayan aliens to find later. Unfortunately most of what they discover will be plastic-based, which means our legacy lies basically in the inventory of a shitbox dollar store. Kazoos.
(The Celestial Doom-Bringer.)
The Epidemic. Zombies Destroy The World!!!
Since brainstorming the idea of the ghoulish living dead, the concept of zombies has morphed from the Thriller video rag-clad skeletons to physically strong lab-created crazies. No longer paranormal fantasy, zombies are now a legitimate threat in the End Times arena. Medical research is a spooky and secretive study. All it takes is a small lab accident, and a couple of scientists have a good old fashioned Scooby Doo “Ruh Roh” moment. In little time, contagious bio zombies ravage the human population. We as a race eat and destroy ourselves until there is no more viable flesh to sustain the hoards. End of the world indeed. There will be gnashing of teeth and the burning of cities in the insanity of our demise. And yes, it will all be George Romero’s fault.
(What Have You Done, You Silly Man??)
Enjoy the End Times!
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March 26, 2011
Bad Science Fiction Movie To Be Made To Be Referenced As “A Bad Science Fiction Movie”
By John Doney / Owl's Ghetto Times
Hollywood, California - Weinstein Company and Warner Bros. will team up with producer Michael Bay and director Paul Verhoeven to make a very bad science fiction movie to be released in the summer of 2012. The movie comes at a time when more and more Americans are comparing aspects of their daily lives to “a bad science fiction movie.”
A script has not been finalized, even after going through several drafts, but the project has been greenlighted by investors in the project. While a cast is in the works and no leading man has been named, the lead will “most likely” be given to a generically handsome white male who possesses “average to above average” acting skills, according to Bay.
A spokesperson for the Weinstein Company said that the movie will have a slew of disasters and occurrences to reference, including every natural disaster imaginable, an alien invasion, technological disasters, a love story, zombies, robots, dinosaurs, and plagues.
“We want this movie to touch every base imaginable, and leave nothing behind, except a trail of money and old blow,” said Bay of the movie. “We hope that in the future, when every man, woman, or child says ‘this blank reminds me of a bad science fiction movie’ or ‘this blank is straight out of a bad science fiction movie’, this movie will come to mind. We think people will compare it to a tyrannosaurus rex having sex with a chrome painted Lamborghini Countach.”
The movie will be approximately 4 hours long, contain nudity, and be “really, really bad”, according to leaked information on the sci-fi movie blog Thesearenottheblogsyourelookingfor.com.
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March 20, 2011
March 13, 2011
March 06, 2011
February 27, 2011
February 20, 2011
February 13, 2011
February 09, 2011
February 06, 2011
January 31, 2011
January 30, 2011
Murderous Gang Of Baby Seals Finally Found, Clubbed To Death
By John Doney / Owl's Ghetto Times
Nuujigayak, Canada - A gang of baby harp seals aged 1 to 2 years-old, thought to be responsible for a murderous crime spree in Nuujigayak, Canada, was tracked down and beaten to death by Inuit hunters on Friday. The gang of seals, known locally as “The Dirty Baker’s Dozen”, was thought to be the same gang of seals accused by villagers because they were wearing the mukluks of the murder victims.
Earlier in the week, the baby seals snuck into the small village of Inuit hunters and began a crime spree in which igloos were melted, clothing and sleds were stolen, and, ultimately, three families were murdered in cold blood. Several witness accounts given to the village elders by frightened witnesses described the gang as possessing “the strength of polar bears and the bloodthirstiness of the tupilak.”
The thirteen seals were smoking cigarettes and cursing in French when they were spotted by vigilant locals about ten miles from the village where the crime spree occurred. When the hunters approached the gang, several of the seals produced ceremonial hunting spears belonging to the murdered hunters’ families. A skirmish then ensued in which several hunters were injured by the seals who also ripped their parkas and chewed through their mukluks. The entire gang of harp seals was beaten to death with hakapiks, the traditional Inuit hunting club.
Village elders expressed satisfaction and gratitude to the hunters for carrying out justice for the victims and getting rid of the “demon-possessed” seals from their land. Amaguq, the village chief, said, “Tekkeitsertok has smiled upon the brave hunters of Nuujigayak and gave them the strength of the great whale spirit to defeat the demon seals, and we will offer to Tekkeitsertok the fine fat and meat of these beasts and ask for blessings. I will fashion a coat of the seals’ skin as remembrance of this day of victory, and as a forewarning of death to seals who may wish to bring destruction to our people.”
However, PETA condemned the entire incident as an act of cruelty and inhumanity that could have been avoided. A group of PETA representatives visited Nuujigayak to protest the incident on behalf of seals in the area. PETA spokesperson Terry Bessette called the hunters vicious human beings with no regard for animal life.
Bessette said, “The hunters are vicious human beings with no regard for animal life. These baby seals should have been apprehended and given a fair trial by village elders instead of hunted down like wild animals. The acts carried out against these seals by the hunters of Nuujigayak is unjustified and cruelty in its most heinous form.”
The PETA protesters were finally chased out of Nuujigayak by an angry mob of villagers wielding spears and hakapiks.
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January 23, 2011
Owl's Ghetto Times Exclusive Cartoon- "Einstein & Da Vinci "
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Frat Bros Give Each Other Multiple High Fives During Traffic Stop
John Doney /Owl's Ghetto Times
Denton, Texas - Four members of a University of North Texas fraternity were pulled over during a routine traffic stop on Saturday night, leading to multiple high fives and shouts of staunch approval.
Taylor McKenzie, a 21-year old junior at UNT and member of the Kappa Sigma fraternity, was speeding in a 2009 Chevrolet Tahoe occupied by three fellow fraternity members shortly after midnight. The group was traveling south on Interstate 35E at a high rate of speed, and was clocked by a State Trooper’s radar going 14 miles over the posted 55 mile per hour speed limit.
After the initial stop and formalities to identify the occupants of the vehicle, State Trooper Jerry Peters asked the driver, McKenzie, if he knew how fast he was traveling, which McKenzie was unable to answer. Officer Peters then informed McKenzie that he was “clocked on radar doing 69.”
Upon the news, Chase Foster, a 22-year-old sophomore in the front passenger seat, abruptly turned around and yelled, “Hell yeah! Sixty-nine! Sixty nine bros!” followed by a set of elaborate handshakes and high fives.
However, the routine traffic stop did not end there. Michael Coble and Jason Ward – both 21-year-old juniors, leaned forward to take a better look at the State Trooper and asked him once more if he could tell them why they were being pulled over.
After Officer Peters informed the students that the vehicle was speeding and clocked at 69 miles per hour, the students immediately erupted in cheer and high-fived each other, again.
McKenzie was cited for speeding, and an annoyed Officer Peters let the vehicle and passengers move along.
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January 22, 2011
January 18, 2011
January 15, 2011
Scientists Finally Confirm That Shoppes Are Better Than Shops
By John Doney / Owl's Ghetto Times
New York City, New York – Researchers from New York University’s applied sciences department have released the results of a comprehensive three-year study of businesses with the word “shoppe” or “shop” in their names, concluding that shoppes are “obviously better than shops”, according to Dr. Timmy Bower of NYU.
“If you could not automatically tell that shoppes are better than shops by the faux old-timey signs in front of shoppes, their clever folksy names, and the kitschy arrogance, then you must be a shop shopper,” said Dr. Bower.
Dr. Bower, who shops at shoppes with his life partner and fellow scientist Dr. Terry Pugh, said he has known for a long time what his research team has concluded. His interest in boutiques and shoppes sparked his scientific instinct to confirm this through empirical methods. Thanks to a half-million dollar research grant from the National Research Council, Dr. Bower was able to lead a team of thirty researchers and understudies to explore the world of shoppes.
After examining sales records, customer demographics, and double blind tests, the team was able to conclude that shoppes are better overall than shops.
The most conclusive evidence of the findings was a double blind test in which a pool of handpicked study participants were blindfolded and brought into various shoppes and shops. The subjects were asked to guess whether they were in either a shoppe or a shop, both before and after taking off the blindfolds. Overwhelmingly, all answered correctly even when blindfolded, citing the strongest factor as being an air of “old timey pretentiousness” when taken to a “shoppe”. Shops were generally dismissed as “lame”.
However, Mindy Baumbaugh, owner of Mindy’s Candle Shop in downtown Poughkeepsie, thinks Bower’s study is biased and bad for business.
According to Baumbaugh, “Ever since Dr. Bower’s bullshit study came out, no one will come to my candle store anymore. Everyone is going across the street to fat ass Brenda’s Wax Shoppe because her store name has an extra “pe” at the end of it. Everyone knows Brenda’s just a whore. And her nose looks like a penis.”
Brenda Smith of Brenda’s Wax Shoppe thinks the study is the best thing to happen to her since her nose job.
Smith says, “Mindy is just mad because I’m getting rich, and she has cobwebs in her vagina. My store is so much better than hers. I have Enya playing in my store, and she has Riverdance. So awful. On top of that, I have bigger tits and she drives a minivan.”
Baumbaugh has considered changing her name to Mindy’s Candle Shoppe, but fears that selling out over a study that she does not believe in would undermine her credibility and “street cred”.
“I’m fucking tired of this bullshit. I’m a straight up gangster in the candle business. People compare me to Scarface in the craft candle world, and this hoe ass Brenda is just another trick trying to run up on my game. I’ll stab a bitch,” said Baumbaugh.
Smith replied, “I ain’t scared. I’m street as fuck. Ask the mayor. If she wants to run her mouth then she best be able to back that shit up. I’ll ice her in an alley and dump her in a creek. I’m the real Scarface of candles in this bitch.”
Get a Hobby, Sucker: A Guide To Leisure in the Modern World
Elle Enziguri - Mental Health Editor/ The Owl's Ghetto Times
Since fast food is killing us, as well as smoke, drink, and fornication, something has to be done in the way of distracting us from these awful truths. Television fails to supply the type of leisure social beings require. This has been brought to our attention and it is very concerning to the Owl’s Ghetto Times that recreation is lost among the thuggery of cable television. Here are a few sweet ideas to get the hell out of the house and do some shit on the cheap.
Intramural sports are options for singles and groups alike. In most major cities, entire leagues of kiddie sports run year-round. Kickball, tee ball, skeeball, and dodgeball are major players. Participating in these grown-up leagues can lead to team drink specials at sanctioned pubs. An added bonus is a delayed redemption from childhood inadequacies. Those who were rotten at sports when nine can pick up the slack and prove athleticism at twenty-nine. Years of awkwardness and weak knees can be wiped away with a phenomenal season of kick-ball. Sometimes, a team sport can rekindle a lost sense of rabid competitiveness; which is a perfectly good reason to stay away from flag football leagues. It’s called “jocking-out”, and it is pretty uncomfortable to witness. Dudes just exploding with Spartan fury during a tee ball game. Red flag behavior. Joining an intramural league means obligatory contact with strangers. Leagues are usually open, so anything could walk through that door. It is very possible to get pinned in a dodgeball game against an ex-marine and a shrimp boat captain. An excited player will take a cheap shot at one of the other players, and blame it on the spirit of the game. This is the asshole that will later start a fight at the bar. An adult recovering from a busted shoulder doesn’t have the same healing period as a youngster. Stick to games that require little physical contact with sweaty strangers. A ball game in the springtime and summer, then a skeeball, darts or bowling league in the winter. Keeps the activity poppin’ all year long.
(This kid wont suck at tee ball as much in 20 years )
Abandon the online gaming community, because old school roleplay is back! Dungeons and Dragons groups are forming like nerd storm cells all over town. World of Warcraft and massive multiplayer online games have proven too isolating for everyone to enjoy. Instead, more people are gathering for frequent game nights. It would behoove any naysayer to drop the judgmental baggage against nerdplay. After puberty, being cool isn’t as essential for survival, so why limit the possibilities of entertainment? Slap together a wizard alter ego, and role a few dice for adventure and dungeoneering. In fact, many find that socializing with good pals over a game board is a refreshing break from the downtown scene. Capes are optional, but could prove useful. Bring plenty of snacks and beer, because a fellowship can’t make it to Mt. Doom without either of these items.
(A typical D&D group at rest.)
Trivia nights at the local pub are usually obnoxious and a straight rip-off. The questions are never serious, the hosts and hostesses are usually trying to promote some bullshit shooter. In order to win the game, contestants have to sit for hours ordering booze and answering questions. Grand prize wins a 50 dollar line of credit at the bar for the evening. Big fucking deal after spending $25 at the bar during gameplay. When boiled down, what’s left is a bar that wants to trap people and force them drink crappy liquor all night long. Crummy example of adult leisure.
(These haggard people are having loads of fun.)
True: Bingo is still a game for old ladies, but it doesn’t need to be this way. In fact, it’s actually the least depressing way to gamble. You can play for small price, and a winner is awarded handsomely at every game. Walking into a Bingo hall is like stepping back in time. Old women with fanny packs and red wine in travel jugs pore over dozens of bingo mats. And everything, absolutely everything is yellow from smoke. If smoking cigarettes indoors intrigues you, then Bingo is one of the last bastions for you. Bingo halls are usually BYOB, which can appeal to any generation. Becoming a real sportsman means that equipment will be needed to step up to the table. At Bingo, the obtained weapon is a dauber. Everyone participates in the same ritual of stamping a mat, and hoping for a big pay out, which is usually around four to seven hundred dollars. Yes, real money. Be careful not to get dauber ink on your fingers and then accidentally touch your face. You’ll have blue or red ink all over your mug, and no one will tell you, because it is funny. Easy to spot. Rookie mistake. Bring a sharp eye, good luck charm, (a figurine or small shrine) and an attitude for a win. Bingo is always worth it. And much, much better than bar trivia.
(Bingo Weapon of Mass Destruction.)
Disc Golf. For athletes that are interested in hauling their own beer during gameplay would fare well with Disc Golf. It’s a perfect mix of golf, Frisbee, hippies and beer. A big draw is the fact that most disc golf courses are free, and usually located in a nearby park. Many times disc golf courses exist for years without people even noticing. Some say that the origins of disc golf came from the leisure activities of the elves in the forests of Ireland. Free gameplay and a tour of the park as a side bonus. Breaks may be taken for impromptu hacky sack game or granola attack. The disc golf community is very serious and there’s plenty of equipment for every discipline. Beware sore sports, skunks and skeeters, and the good times will continue to roll.
That should present a reasonable spread of choices for all to be satisfied. Keeps everyone from drinking alone too much. And don’t worry, outdoor activities don’t really cut into quality time in front of the television. The DVR is a loyal machine that always waits for its master. Enjoy the free time for doing cool shit that excites you. And perhaps win prizes and money and treasure.
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FBI busted tracking student, demands GPS spy gear return
Remember when the FBI used to be sneaky, as opposed to bumbling?
After Web uproar, feds reclaimed magnetic tracker found under car
msnbc.com
updated 10/8/2010 6:36:11 PM ET
Several days ago a 20-year-old student discovered a GPS tracking device hidden on his car. After his friend posted a picture of it online, speculating about its ties to a secret FBI investigation, the feds themselves came a-knockin',according to Wired.com. They wanted their toy back.
Based on the discussion with the six FBI agents who arrived at his doorstep, Yassir Afifi believes he'd been under surveillance for three to six months. When Wired asked an FBI spokesman about the case, he did not acknowledge ownership of the device, but said that there was an "ongoing investigation."
Afifi says that he cooperated with the FBI and, according to Wired, "did nothing to merit attention from authorities." He is a U.S. citizen who lives in Santa Clara, Calif., where he attends Mission College.
Afifi's father, an Islamic-American activist, died a year ago in Egypt. It is not clear what the circumstances of his death were, or if this was the reason for the FBI's investigation of Afifi.
The gadget itself — a GPS receiver identified as a police-issue-only Cobham Orion Guardian ST820 tracking system, connected to a battery pack and radio transmitter — was magnetically attached to the car. A shot of it made its way around the blogosphere on Monday, after appearing on the community news site Reddit. After Afifi spotted an antenna sticking out during an oil change, the garage owner offered to yank it out. It apparently popped off quite easily.
The question of whether or not sticking a GPS on a car is legal is actually in the middle of a hot debate right now. One federal court recently said that it was legal, while another said that tracking for an "extended period of time" would in fact require a warrant. (For more on this, here's a great piece in Time written by lawyer and tech journalist Adam Cohen.)
Legality aside, the tactic itself might have been carried out with something less than precision. Simply put, tracking devices shouldn't be so easy to find. Wired talked to an agent who said that not only is the tracking device out of date, but state-of-the-art snoops hardwire the stuff directly to the car's electrical system, avoiding the need for a battery.
What's impressive is how quickly Afifi got an identification of the gadget by crowdsourcing it on the Web. On the flipside, that kind of exposure isn't good PR for the FBI. Surely the revelation of the magnetic tracker will cause many people to check under their own cars. Like many noble efforts to keep us safe from terrorism, this one may be turning out to not be so effective. After all, those who already know they're involved in illegal activity probably check their cars every day, rain or shine.
http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/tech/FBI_busted_tracking_student__demands_gear_return-104607634.html
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